Writer-cize #2(Tim Howell)

When I'm scanning the Internet for a baseball-related article, what turns me off is too much front-loaded sabermetrics talk. I'd rather read: "A.J. Burnett's acquisition provides excellent upside to the Pittsburgh Pirates, as he brings statistics that in some ways are better than Philadelphia's Cliff Lee—for a fraction of the cost."

I'd rather not read: "FIP (fielding independent pitching) converts a pitcher's three true outcomes into an ERA-like number. The formula is (13*HR+3*BB-2*K)/IP, plus a constant (usually around 3.2) to put it on the same scale as ERA. (I think I just threw up a little).

Sure, that's an extreme example. I guess it just boils down to personal preference, as the "sabermetric" example is a "hook" to those looking for that type of analysis.

When it comes to a short story, I'm a sucker for really quirky openings (i.e. Raymond Carver) and am turned off by rambling wordiness (some Agatha Christie).

Here's an awesome opening line by Carver:

"A man without hands came to the door to sell me a photograph of my house."

—from "Viewfinder"

For me, the Carver hook works on multiple levels. For starters it's clear and concise. It throws you into the story immediately with a ton of questions—impressive since the sentence is only 16 words long.

How does a man without hands knock on the door (or does he scratch)? Who buys photographs of their own home? I'd like to see these demographics. Why/How did this man lose his hands? What senses are compensated if you lose your sense of touch? Carver was a master, and perhaps his excellence is at least in part derived from his ridiculous ability to "show" and not "tell." This opening line transports us into the twisted world of Carver, and what a fun ride it is.